Thursday, November 26, 2009

He always opens a window

That's the last half of one of my favorite quotes from The Sound of Music. This thanksgiving it is the very thing I am most thankful for. This semester has been a rough one. Classes were hard, dating was... thrilling... and nothing seemed to be working. I spent a looooooooooooong time on my knees for most of September and October fighting through ideas about double majors, careers in music, and just general questions about what to do after I graduate. The more I prayed the more frustrated I got, because with every idea I came up with nothing seemed to fit, and every time I thought I had constructed my fool proof answer, I discovered I still had nothing to go on. With each idea that didn't work out I became more upset and more miserable. It was like I was doing everything I could think of, but I was still falling short.
Finally on fast Sunday at the beginning of this month I decided I would just listen, and just wait for answers. I listened all through church, I listened as I drove a good friend to the airport, I listened as I visited a friend in Salt Lake, and finally as I was about to leave Salt Lake I felt like I needed to go to Temple Square. I drove over, and decided just to walk around. As I was walking I ran into some sister missionaries and talked to them. While we were talking one of the sisters looked at me and said "you should go on a mission" I gave her my usual excuses that I didn't feel it was for me, and didn't really want to go. Suddenly as we were talking it hit me, and I wanted to go more than anything I've ever wanted in my life.
So, I'm planning on putting in mission papers at the end of next semester. I couldn't be more excited. I'm terrified at the idea of leaving for a year and a half, I'm nervous about a lot of things but I know this is the right choice.
This year for thanksgiving I am incredibly thankful for prayer, and I'm also thankful for all the "no's" I got. Without all of those no's I'm not sure I would have recognized the need to serve. Things in the weeks since deciding to serve have fallen into place. This semester is still probably my hardest yet, but it's all okay now. Some questions are still unresolved, but I feel more settled and at peace than I've felt in months.
May you and all those around you have a marvelous Thanksgiving. Remember to take time to think about what you are most grateful!

1 comment:

  1. WOW. That's a pretty amazing event! I'm SO sorry you've had such a rough semester, but I'm thrilled for you that you've found something that makes you feel wonderful! You will be a GREAT missionary. Good luck with the rest of this semester. Just keep hanging in there!!

    Happy Thanksgiving!! XOXOXOXO