Saturday, April 4, 2009

Oh the Places You'll Go

I've been talking on Facebook with an old friend. We went to nursery together and have been good friends ever since. It's interesting to have someone outside of your family who you've known for so long, especially when you've moved around. Both of us have moved a few times but, thanks to out mothers being good friends, we've kept in touch.

It's interesting to see where two kids from little towns in Kentucky end up. I know when we were running around creating havoc at the age of 3 we'd never have imagined where we'd end up. I wanted to be a ballerina and he wanted to blow things up (no joke). I now want to play in a symphony... and he still wants to blow things up. I guess some things really don't change. But so much does.

I lived in Kentucky for the longest, but it's not home. I loved living in Wales, but it's not home. Michigan is where I tell people I'm from, but it's not home. My family isn't there anymore, and I haven't been back in almost a year. I don't actually know when I'll go back again. Now my family is living in China, but it's not home. I live in Utah, but feel little connection to Provo outside of BYU and will probably only come back if I have family or friends who are in the area.

At the age of 3 when we were running around and playing in the dirt, I never could have imagined all that was waiting for me. I've been so blessed and seen so much.

When I was little I remember digging a massive hole in our back yard with Trent. (No really, it was huge, if I remember correctly, we had to buy sod to fill it because the dirt was too spread out and the hole too big.) Trent and I were digging to China. I remember as we dug we imagined what would happen once we dropped through the center of the earth and ended up on the other side. It actually played out somewhat like a Magic School Bus episode... odd. The very first thing that ran through my mind when I found out my family might move to China was that afternoon in our back yard in a little bump-in-the-road town in Kentucky.

I realized just recently that at the culmination of this semesters work, I will be exactly half way through my BYU experience. It's gone incredibly fast. It still seems like just last week that I was racing around the Dorms with Denise creating havoc (awesome flour fight anyone? *evil grin*) I have no idea what the next two years have, but I've realized that I only get to do this once. When Grad School hits I think things will be a lot different. If nothing else, a lot of the amazing opportunities that are present at BYU won't be available to me.

I don't want to just "get through" the next two years. Much of the last two years has been "getting through." I "get though" dictation, I "get through" general music classes, I "get through" boring/painful rehearsals, I "get through" early morning lectures. I spend far too much time "getting through" when I should be savoring. So, I made a decision. There will be no more "getting through" only accomplishing and savoring. Simply "getting through" doesn't really leave time to enjoy the moment. I don't want to look back on my undergraduate experience and wish that I had done more things and explored more ideas and options.

Now you wonder what am I doing about it. The "getting through" bug is pretty tough to beat, but I think I know how. I'm going to do some of the things I've always wanted to and never have. I'm signing up for a dance class this fall and couldn't be more excited. Not only that, but I want to fix how I think. My goal for the next two years is to avoid thinking of "getting through" and instead think of how I can really take joy in what I am doing, regardless of how I may like or dislike the activity. Does that mean that from here on out college will be like frolicking through a field of daisies? Nope. Do I expect that I'll love every moment? Not particularly. However, I do expect to love each day, to spend more time focusing on the things that I can fix and accepting that which I cannot. I've realized that the next two years are going to fly by, and I don't want to spend any part of it being unnecessarily miserable. So, wish me luck. I've got two more years to conquer and I'm bringin' down the house.
For your viewing pleasure: There we are in Nursery. I'm the problem child (?) between the two teachers. Lewis is the stud chillaxin' on the right side. My little brother Trent is the one is the 'spenders.


  1. Good friends are worth their weight in gold and you have been blessed with many. Looking at this picture reminds me why it is good that you did not decide to go into cosmetology. The hair cut you gave yourself was a lovely one. :)

  2. Heh just watch it Nicole. In two years you'll be walking down the BYU graduating aisle and at the end will be a tall dark and handsome young returned missionary with a beautiful engagement ring for you. As for me...I'll prolly be trying to grow my hair back from me ripping it out. :)