Thursday, June 11, 2009

Mutant Demon Tomato Plants and so on...

First, you must understand I am currently medicated. I don't think that they drugs actually affect my cognitive reasoning, but they're a good excuse for this post. What drugs? Cool vertigo drugs. Joy. I woke up yesterday morning and ran directly into the wall. It was loud and rather painful. Under semi normal circumstances my running into the wall would have been funny, however, yesterday those blasted walls never stopped moving. So, Tae packed me off, after much argument on my part, to go get my inner ear looked at. One day later I feel fine, but am still taking medication to keep my inner ear in check.

Second, I must preface this story with an explanation of the pool in my apartment complex. For my Midland readers, Dioxin was child's play compared to this. For my non Midland readers just know that first the pool was a blueish green, then evil green, and now a seductive yet deathly blue. Every morning I expect mutant species to begin marching from it.

Last night I had a most peculiar dream...

I dreamed that little multicolored mutants marched from our pool and attacked Tia's tomato plant. These mutants were multicolored had many eyes, two awkwardly protruding legs, fluffy yet oddly spiky hair, and coolest of all, they spit radioactive waste. *disclaimer: I wish no harm on Tia's tomato plants, actually I quite like them and wish they would hurry up and produce beautiful tomatoes.* These peculiar little mutants marched straight up from the pool found Tia's plant and spit radioactive goop on them. Tia thought the whole thing was cool, Tae wanted to cut open the mutants brains, I wanted tomatoes, and Megan, actually, I don't know where you were... tragic. After much deliberation we decided we couldn't actually save the plant if it was going to die, so we left it outside the apartment hoping somehow it would all be okay.
The next morning we all woke up to go check on the tomatoes. We made it as far as the kitchen (a whopping five steps, but this sounds cooler) and then noticed a slight breeze and more sunlight than usually graces our kitchen in the early morning. THERE IT STOOD. THE MUTANT DEMON TOMATO PLANT.

Over night it had grown to be forty feet high and was sporting very large bright red tomatoes each with their own mutant looking faces. And then... I woke up...

This dream tells me a few things. One, I need to eat better at night. Two, I really want tomatoes. And three, clearly by Eddie Izzard's standards I am very much an American influenced by American movies. Had a Brit had this dream it would have gone like this:
Tia enters the kitchen and says: "Nicole the mutants are coming"
N: "Do they want tea?"
T: "No, I think they want a bit more, they're spitting radioactive waste on my tomatoes and they've got a flag"
N: "That's dash cunning of them"

Next day:
T: "those tomatoes have grown quite large and strong"
N: "really, how strong?"
T: "quite strong"
N: "Well how strong?"
T: "Like a small mutant pony"
N: "ooh, that's quite strong, innit?"

Like I said, I'm medicated.

*Tune in later when I'm feeling fully better and have pictures of the awesomeness of Flute Festival. I learned so much and absolutely loved the chance to work with Ms. Chesis again.*


  1. We should make a movie. 'Twould be epic.

  2. Holy cow girl...I thought that I was bad for your sanity. Apparently you need to hang out with me more often.